Don’t go into your roommate relationship
expecting things to go your way all the time.
Being a good roommate means being considerate of your roommate’s needs
as well as your own, and finding a middle ground.
your thoughts and feelings
Don’t expect your roommate to read your
mind. If something is bothering you
communicate that to them sooner rather than later, so that you can work to
resolve things while they are small, instead of waiting until they’re big. Sometimes it’s difficult to tell if something
is truly irritating, or if it’s because you stayed up all night typing a paper
and might be a little extra sensitive.
Use the 24 hour rule. If you are
still upset about it 24 hours later, then you should talk to your roommate
about Post-It notes
Sometimes confrontation can be a scary thing and it is
tempting to just leave a note for a roommate instead of talking to them in
person. Leaving post-its, texting,
Facebook messages, and Twitter are all bad ideas when it comes to relaying
messages to your roommate when you all are living together. It is really easy for your roommate to
misinterpret tone in a written message, and it’s just not the kind of
communication that fosters positive roommate relationships.
assume ill will
We operate off of the assumption that nobody
wants to be considered a nuisance or irritating. If you assume that everything your roommate
does is to spite you, then it will probably lead you to be accusatory in your
approach to resolve conflict, which isn’t effective. Instead, assume that your roommate did not
intend to upset you, and focus on the behavior and how it affected you, as
opposed to the person.
5. Two wrongs
don’t make a right
Just because your roommate did it first, doesn’t
make it ok to continue the cycle. If you
haven’t taken steps to resolve the conflict, then you are participating in the
problem just as much as your roommate may be.
Retaliation never leads to resolution of conflict.
the ‘Golden Rule’
The ‘Golden Rule’ we refer to is to treat others
as you would want to be treated. It
sounds simple, but in the heat of the moment we know that this can be more
difficult than it sounds. If you
wouldn’t want to be the recipient of a not-so-nice note, or a mean tweet, then
chances are neither would your roommate.
7. This is
most likely you and your roommate’s first time living with someone else other
Most of our residents have never lived with
anyone else before, and if they have, it wasn’t necessarily in such close
quarters. Give each other some credit in
that you are building skills that only come with experience. Stick with it and follow steps like this and
you will come out on the other side with many useful skills.