Seed Packet

Definitions

      BOTANY  n. The science of vegetables -- those that are not good to eat, as well as those that are.                                                                       –Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
      WEED  n.  A plant whose virtures have not yet been discovered.
                             —Ralph Waldo Emerson

GARDEN (n.)
1 a : a plot of ground where herbs, fruits, flowers, or vegetables are cultivated
b : a place to feel good about nature while humankind heedlessly destroys the planet
c : a place where statues often replace people and animals
d : a place where exotic plants are cultivated in a non-indigenous environment and success is measured by their survival—rendering a satisfaction not unlike what one would feel shepherding a poodle through the Sahara
e : a place where someone privileges one weed over another—e.g. favoring invasive mint over sturdy dock weed
f : a place of hard work, hotter and more expensive than the produce section of the local supermarket, which the gardener holds in contempt
g : a source of equal parts of joy and despair

(v) 1 a : to lay out or work in a garden
b : to indulge in an activity that never ceases—to amaze, to numb, to tire and to satisfy its practitioners
c : to spend nine months of the year outside in the elements, often craving the indoors, then three months indoors often wishing to be outside
d : to plan with the aid of the same garden catalogue one will curse for its false promises
e : to practice an activity often rewarding the pessimist, who expects nothing, and disappointing the optimist, who expects bounty
f : to cultivate anything, but most particularly a plant, helping it to thrive and bear fruit
g : to manipulate natural beauty, found rarely, into artificial beauty, which is then found ubiquitously
h : to be reminded equally of failure and success, mortality and immortality

"Definitions" first appeared in Flint Hills Review

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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