Espaliered tree

Kansas, the Xeriscape, Finally Goes to a Meeting

xeriscape: landscaping techniques for arid climates

            My name is Kansas, and I’m ready to practice all that is xeriscape.  I’m ready to admit my aridity, to dry out, to return to my natural state.  I’ve tried to deny my need for xeriscapism my whole life, I guess.
            In those early days, I was hopeful.  I didn’t have to be dry.  Rain, I thought, would follow the plow, and boy, did I get plowed.  I scatched that itch from the Missouri border to the Colorado line, releasing the pent up moisture in the soil, hoping it would come back down in rain.  No rain.  So I found another frenzy, railroad building.  All that metal lying exposed on my Plains would attract lightning, and, with it, rain.  Still I was dry, but couldn’t admit it.  I wanted moisture, I wanted to drink it all in.
            Of course, I got in on the Timber Culture Act of 1873.  The government noticed a connection between water and forested areas, so why not be forested?  I was planted in acres and acres of two-foot pines in the Sand Hills along the Arkansas River, back in the early 1900s.  Dry no more, I thought, and I waited to drink it in!  Those trees never grew, that water never came.  Lord, I needed a drink.  I was still young.  In my frustration I shot off cannons because rain always follows a battle.  But the only battle was with my own nature.  I found religion and tried prayer—had congregations, towns, whole counties praying for weeks to the higher powers, and still I was a lost soul.  When I had the energy, I built ponds and dammed rivers for lakes, hoping that a little water would attract a lot of water.  No luck.  I took to the air and seeded clouds, flying high, and still I had nothing to show for it.
            When you’ve tried everything, you look inside yourself, you dig deep.  I should have recognized my need for xeriscapism then, but when I went deep down I found the Ogallala aquifer, and I pumped and pumped, pure relief, drinking and releasing center pivots, flooding myself, enjoying the green, but ruining myself and my future.
            I realize that now.  Please, I need help.  I’ve been in denial too long.  I have few resources left.  I need to come clean, need to admit I’m a candidate for xeriscape, I need to find my natural state.  I’m ready to take it one day at a time.  Ready to let go and let the higher powers take over.  I thank you for your support.  I promise I’ll keep attending these meetings.












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