Far Travelers Oral History Project
Interview with Mrs. Stella EvertsonNOTE: This is a draft version, with work still needed to fill in words the transcriber couldn't understand
INTERVIEWER: Abby McClellan
AM: Today is April 24th, 2006. My name is Abby McClellan and I'm interviewing Stella Evertson. Hello, Stella.SE: Hello.
AM: May I ask you some biographical information first? Okay. What is your date and place of birth?
SE: I was born in 1947, August 15.
AM: Where were you born?
SE: I was born in Mainland China, close to _____, _____, and _____.
AM: What's your Chinese name?
SE: My Chinese name is Sun Shu Ping. That's my school name. And my family name, my sister and my mom will call me Shu Ching. So in home I'm Shu Ching and when I go to school it's Shu Ping. And we always have the last name in front of the first name.
AM: And that would be Sun.
SE: Sun Shu Ping, uh-huh.
AM: How did you pick your English name?
SE: I was grow up in Hong Kong, which was a British colony then, and I had a teacher from Scotland for my English teacher. We had a big class. We had forty-some kids in the class. So my English teacher always give a student an English name. Since my last name is Sun, and then Stella is supposed to be a star, so she feel like Stella was very _____ for me.
AM: Your parents names and where they were born?
SE: My mom and my dad are both born in _____, in _____. _____ is the province. If I remember right, I think the population in the little village, maybe three thousand, somewhere around there.
AM: When you were young?
SE: When I was young, mm-hmm. My birthplace.
AM: I bet it's not anymore.
SE: No, I was there three years ago. The little area still is not growing because the younger kids, they all go to the bigger cities, just like in the United States.
AM: What did your parents do?
SE: You know, that's very interesting question. When I grow up, I don't think I know my dad until when I was about six years old. My mom told me my dad, in the Japanese wartime, he was already from _____, the village, and he stay in Shanghai, because we had one uncle at that time owned the antique store in Shanghai, so he was in the antique store business with my uncle. Then later on my dad went to Hong Kong. So I don't know such a person as my dad until when I was six years old, one time he came back to the village. I guess my dad always in the antique business in that time.
AM: And your mother?
SE: My mom is a homemaker. In those days I don't think the woman go out – they don't allow to go to work. So she would make the clothes, from clothes to the shoes, and knitting, embroidery, all those things. I think that is standard type of chores for a woman those days.
AM: How many brothers and sisters do you have?
SE: We grow up with one older sister and one older brother, and I'm the youngest one.
AM: So three total?
SE: Three total, as far as they stay together. I understand one sister below my older sister, and at that time, in the Japanese war, she supposed to have a heat stroke from running around, and she passed away. After I was born. And I had one sister younger than I am. I think she is one year or two years younger than I am. And they give away. The reason, they say in that time that life is hard. And the girl is not as important as the boy, and they give her away. Actually, they supposed to give me away in that time, only thing I was born in the lunar calendar August, the August Moon Day Festival. I was born in that day by lunar calendar. So all my relatives and the neighbors, they said, "Oh, you're not supposed to give that girl away. That's a lucky girl." (chuckles) So I was born lucky day.
But my sister, the one younger sister, I remember when she was little she used to come to our house and we play together every once in a while. In fact, about six years ago when I went back to China, my brother and I went to look for her. It was kind of awkward reunion time. They don't think like the way we do. But I think, like I say, they had contact with my mom all these years. My mom, when I was nine years old, we went from the village, moved to Hong Kong. After my brother and his family immigrate over here in the United States, my mom they come and visit us for a few times. Then she decided – in that time we don't have a satellite. Nowadays you can have your own dish, get the little channels. So she don't have anybody can communicate over here. She decided she went to China to build a new home and retire over there. My older sister and her family still there.
AM: So your mother came to the United States.
SE: Oh, they came over here. My mom came over about four times.
AM: Just for visits?
SE: For visits. We figure it's easier for her to come over here and spend some time with us than for us to go over there, because they're retired anyway.
AM: So both your parents are still living in China?
SE: No. They passed away, in the little village. About twenty years ago, they went to build a brand new home over there, which is the big thing over there in the little village. And they liked all the attention over there.
AM: Can you tell me something about your grandparents?
SE: My grandparents I never know, neither side the grandfather. I just know my mom's side mom, and we always call her Grandma. In Chinese call her Nabo[?]. That's for Shanghai dialect we call Nabo. In Chinese, I think most Asian cultures, we don't call Grandma. We identify grandma from mother's side mother or the father's side, so we don't just call other grandma just like the United States which is grandma, one word. My mother side call her Nabo and call on my father's side _____. So when the little kids go out with the parents or with the grandma, and when you say Nabo or _____ and people they identify that's the daughter of Sun's child. And in the other hand, we not supposed to call the grandparents by their names, so therefore, we never know the grandma's name. They say to call your grandparents by their name is not respectful. So much for that. We don't know what the grandma's name. (laughs)
AM: And can you tell me a little bit about your husband, how you met.
SE: My husband, I met him, I was working in the Hong Kong Hilton Hotel and he was in the service, in the navy, and that's how we met. We just kind of visiting and talking, just like everybody, dating, go out to dinner, go out to a movie. I met him in 1966, and at that time he was in the navy on a carrier. So he went back to Hong Kong twice, and then we just be a pen pal and stuff like that. Basically, we don't even know each other very well, but he think he's in love and after he out of service, go all the way back. I said, "Oh, wow! This is my hero. Why not?" (laughs)
AM: And do you have children?
SE: Yeah, we have two daughters. Right now one is in North Carolina. [clap of thunder] That's your stomach growling? (both laugh)
AM: It's thunder. (laughs)
SE: But anyway, our oldest daughter, she's thirty-six right now. She's accounting, in North Carolina. And her husband's in the marines and he should be home pretty soon.
AM: Is he in Iraq?
SE: He's in Iraq for a while. But last time we heard – I just talked to my daughter yesterday. He's on the way coming home. I think last time he was in Spain. Sounds like he's on the way come back to the United States safely. Then they're planning a big trip. They're going to London and Europe for – you know, they need to spend some time together. And then another daughter's in town, in Topeka. And I have one grandson. He's eleven and a half already.
AM: Were there any cultural differences between you and your husband raising children?
SE: Very much so. We're constantly into the battle, just like every other family, I guess. I mean, Americans, they don't try to tell kids do this so much, just let them on themself. To us, we constantly tell the kids do this, do that. I think the Asian kids, somehow, even in the school system and everything, they learn their discipline early. So that's why they would follow the orders when they're little. So I don't know that is good or – I think in American system, the kids they have more free for their own thinking, so they had more – how you say, they had their own idea better than some of the Asian culture. I think the Asian kids over here, they caught on with the American culture pretty well. But in the other hand, I think the family teach them the self discipline early, so they kind of catch the best points in both cultures. They have a very good – oh, I would say – how you say, the self discipline and plus you can have free thinking in the same time?
AM: Well rounded?
SE: Mm-hmm. Well rounded? That's right. That's the right word.
AM: Can you tell me about what life was like for you in China when you were very small, your neighborhood, your family situation?
SE: Like I said, the neighbor over there is very loving and caring. Like I say, if people born here in the forties, in the fifties, the neighbors over here very close. Everybody watch each other's kids. I think nowadays, even when you want to show the concern, you kind of hold back for a while because everything nowadays is just too much _____ involved. I mean, used to be the neighbors, the kids come over to another neighbor's house, you feel very comfortable. Anymore, you always wonder what the neighbor's doing, right? I think that's just not in China, I think that's everywhere. I think in the China people be more aware now.
But over there, the neighbor, we are very close, even in Hong Kong. If next door, we would fix something extra, so I'd go next door, they would like the same kind of cookie or some kind of food we fix, we would fix extra plates, just on the door. Here, I have something extra for you, and very loving and caring.
AM: Did you start school when you were still in China?
SE: Yeah. I think I started in the – I just start for one year, and then by then my dad already doing all kind of paperwork for us go to Hong Kong. So when I was nine years old, we moved to Hong Kong.
AM: What was school like in China?
SE: It was pretty much like it is here. The class not as big as like the way in Hong Kong, because Hong Kong, in that time, we had lots population, we don't have enough school. And then I think in China and here is about the same. I mean, they don't have like a uniform, the kids grow up in Hong Kong. But they have some uniform now that I think last time when I went back to China. But when I was little, we don't have. All we had, if you are a gifted child, they give you red scarf to put on. That is a symbol you are an academic student, and stuff like that, in that time.
AM: So you moved to Hong Kong because your father –
SE: Yeah. We move over there in 1958.
AM: And he had been there how long before you moved?
SE: Probably before I was born or after that.
AM: He'd been in Hong Kong that long?
SE: Yes. He was in Hong Kong for a long time.
AM: Trying to get his family –
SE: Trying to get his family. And then, like I say, early I don't know him until when I was six. I think they would send the money back to the little village over there to support a family.
AM: Why did he go to Hong Kong?
SE: At that time he went he was in Shanghai in the Japanese time because my uncle was in the antique business. So I guess later on they went to Hong Kong.
AM: So that would be right in the middle of the Civil War and right after the war with Japan.
SE: Revolution? Mm-hmm. But lucky that we don't have any communist _____ regime. We move out before – I think right in the beginning we move out there. The revolution I think they started in 1960.
AM: The cultural revolution? Sixty-six?
SE: Oh, maybe earlier than that.
AM: Well, there was the Great Leap Forward and –
SE: Yeah, all those things.
AM: So you moved to Hong Kong just before Mao Tse-tung started his big campaign.
SE: Right, all those things.
AM: Was there – well, you were probably too young to tell, but –
SE: I do remember some. That was just in the beginning to start it. I remember those cultural revolutions, those times that people – some of the people supposed consider as wealthy people, and some of the people they tried to criticize them. And go through all those really, oh, kind of punishment things for them, and it's kind of mean, make them kneel down on the floor and make them walk through on their knees. People would throw the rocks on them, and stuff like that. I think in the revolution some of the kids – just a lot of school kids, they don't know exactly. When other people doing something, they will do the same thing. That's how they started. And it was pretty bad, kind of scary, too, when you were little.
AM: Yes. That would be very scary.
SE: But somehow we managed to _____ over there in 1958.
AM: How different was life in Hong Kong than it had been in China?
SE: Oh, it was very different, because in China you have more room. When we were little kids we were climbing up, behind our house, the hill. We kind of used the hill as a playground, and the river bed, and stuff like that. You had more open space. But in Hong Kong you don't have that much. I was so homesick because I missed all the space I can run around. In Hong Kong you just have kind of in New York City, just one room. You see what I'm saying?
AM: You went from living in a house to living in an apartment?
SE: Yes. That was very bad because you feel like you're so cramped. You don't have the space.
AM: And in school, English was just part of the education system?
SE: In Hong Kong it's mandatory. It's mandatory to study English.
AM: That makes sense.
SE: Because it's British colony. So English is good. I'm glad. (both laugh)
AM: Did your grandmother come with you?
SE: No. Just my brother and my mom and me. And I had older sister, at that time she was seventeen. She had to marry by then. Because those days, if you don't marry by sixteen, seventeen, you were considered as old maid. So my sister was married over there.
AM: So she stayed in China.
SE: She stayed in Mainland China.
AM: And your father continued in his antique business?
SE: No. Later on he's into the painter as a painter business.
AM: Painting buildings?
SE: Painting of the interior and wallpaper. He had a little company doing that.
AM: So you emigrated twice from Mainland China to Hong Kong, and then from Hong Kong to the United States. And that was with your husband?
SE: Yes. I met my husband in 1966, and then he went back in 1968. I was almost twenty-one. I thought I was old maid then. I said, "My God, I'm so old." He _____ come back, get married. Why not? It's better, I think.
AM: Yes, since you were supposed to be married at sixteen.
SE: I think those days over here people marry early, too, don't they?
AM: Probably not.
SE: Not that early?
AM: Not usually at sixteen.
SE: Well, in our culture, my brother got married. That's one thing. If you're younger you're not supposed to marry first than your older brother or your sister. You're supposed to wait for they marry first. My brother's already married by then. My mom can hardly wait for me to get married. It's a pressure.
AM: So that way it's fortuitous for everyone.
SE: Yeah.
AM: So you had no problem getting in to the United States.
SE: No.
AM: Since you were marrying an American.
SE: Right.
AM: And when you got here, where did you first arrive?
SE: We came in by San Diego. And then we drove all the way in. I was so naive.
AM: To Kansas?
SE: Yes. From San Diego all the way in to Kansas, because that was my husband's hometown.
AM: Tell me about your naivety, being naive.
SE: Yeah. Because _____ in United States probably just like in Hong Kong, not that far to go to the house. We drove and drove. I said, "My God, where in the world are we going to go?" I didn't realize from San Diego would be that far. I think we drive about two days. We drove very fast. Two days, and then we came here to Topeka, Kansas.
AM: What were you expecting in the United States?
SE: I was expecting just like in Hong Kong, with the people shoulder to shoulder, with all the cars around. And then when I came in, it was on a Sunday in 1968. Topeka, Kansas, downtown, there is nobody walking on the streets. When he said, "This is my home," I said, "My goodness. What is going on? Looks like a ghost town." I was really culture shocked. I was very homesick. In those days you cannot buy any kind of groceries, like nowadays. In Topeka you don't see any bok choy cabbage. You don't see any Oriental, period. It was pretty hard.
AM: I think there was that one Chinese restaurant in North Topeka.
SE: In that time in Topeka, Kansas, they have Red Dragon and China Inn. And I was happy to see some of the Chinese people. And then I found out the Chinese people, they don't speak same kind of dialect. They speak Toisan[?]. It's from the Toisan dialect, which is the first Chinese people came to the United States, San Francisco, they were on the railroad.
AM: What province would that be from?
SE: That's closest to _____.
AM: So the Chinese immigrants that you met in '68, they were still speaking the same dialect as –
SE: They speak Toisan dialect. But I managed to learn pretty fast.
AM: Learn their dialect?
SE: Learn that dialect.
AM: And if nothing else, you [tape skips].
SE: But it was a shock. It was very hard.
AM: Were you ready to go back to China? Not that you really could, but –
SE: Well, I like to go back – we went back three years ago. We went to Beijing to see the Forbidden City. It was very nice. The first time I went back it was twenty years ago, or twenty-two years ago, it was real different. Then every time when I went back, I can see the improvements on people. They are more open to the different culture. You can see the changing on their clothes and everything. They are more sure, they're confident. But now when you go back, my goodness, Shanghai is just like New York City, or like Hong Kong used to be. It's really different compared the first time when I went back.
AM: Has Hong Kong changed from when it was under British rule to being under –
SE: I think they changed, because they changed the currency and then they change all the – from the British culture and more and more into Chinese. But they not totally change in a way, but you can see the difference.
AM: Had it changed a lot from when you were a child?
SE: Oh, yeah. But you still remember the landmarks on some of the places. The landmarks, they don't change. On some of them, but some of them they have more high rise. Then Victoria Harbor, it seems like it gets smaller and smaller, because they all – what you call? They keep filling and –
AM: Landfill.
SE: Landfill.
AM: What was the hardest thing about your new life in Topeka?
SE: When I first came?
AM: Mm-hmm.
SE: Everything was hard. And I missed the people.
AM: From back home?
SE: Well, I missed the people, the open space, and then – it was different. You know what I'm saying? When I was over in Hong Kong, I thought I was very Westernized. I was working in the Hong Kong Hilton. I see the foreigner every day, it don't bother me, I didn't even think about it. I was so homesick. Most the people I don't even like them. I missed my friends. [sniffles] Oh, these allergies. That's one thing I never have allergies until I come to Topeka, Kansas. And then – it's all different. Like I say, you miss the basic things. You never thought about you going to miss it, and then you missed it.
AM: Such as?
SE: Oh, your food, right? And then the friends. And then you miss the native language. _____ around the housing. It's just – everything different. One thing I do like over here is the grass and the tree. I said, "Wow!" Never see the tree and the grass when I was in Hong Kong, because there was the city life. So I begin to learn all the flowers' name, all the trees. I mean, it was big adjustment and big change.
AM: What were you expecting?
SE: I was expecting just like Hong Kong. I wasn't even prepared. I don't have any idea. Wow!
AM: You were expecting the entire United States to be like Hong Kong?
SE: Well, yeah. That's what I thought. I think though they have so many open space. Because I'd been in Hong Kong for a long time. But if I was thinking about it, just like in China, maybe I had better _____ in that time.
AM: Well, you had been in Hong Kong since you were nine.
SE: Yeah. So I said, it's like a city. (laughs)
AM: Did you go to school here in the United States at all?
SE: I went to the Washburn for the English class for a while, until I have the kids. And then you have working and everything, you know?
AM: You said that you had owned a restaurant at some point.
SE: Yes, I did. Ever since I be in the United States – at first I came over, I been here about one week, I started working because we needed to have the money to survive. We were so broke. (chuckles) We were so broke, like I say, I had to go to work right away. I think I went to work in the Hallmark in that time, Hallmark Cards. Then after a year or so I have the first daughter. She was born in 1970. So I just kind of stay at home for a while. And then when the second child came – after the first one, after a few months – I think she was about a few months old, six months old, I went back to work again.
AM: What did your husband do?
SE: My husband, he was working for the Goodyear. He went to Washington for a while and then he quit. Then I just kind of work for Hallmark for a little while until second kid was born. And then I just quit working. Then when the second daughter about two year old – no, she was about one – I had some business start. That time I was working kind of like making the fishing rods. I was working for the _____ Company. Then I was even at home, watch the kids, I can work in the same time. Then finally, I was doing so good, and then they let me handle all the – they had more business come in from all over United States. I would handle a thousand-some rods a day.
AM: What were you doing?
SE: On the fishing rods?
AM: Mm-hmm.
SE: Those expensive custom-made graphite and _____, those fishing rods I think are kind of costly. You put the eye on those fishing rods.
AM: Oh, that the line runs through.
SE: Yes. I had a machine do that. So I was doing so good they let me handle kind of like – they _____ contract to me. So I had fourteen girls working for me. I would train them, and then they could take them home to do them. Then when they finish, they brought back to me, and I'm the one in charge of handing back to the company. I was doing that for about ten years. Then after doing ten years I think I kind of burn out. By then my kids are older too. So I was working for the bank for a while. And then working for Washburn in the business office for a while. I said, "That's for the birds. I got to get more money than that." I _____ used to be my own boss making more money than that.
And then my family they immigrate. My brother and his family came. So I have plans to open a Chinese restaurant. I got everything all lined up for my brother and his family came. We open the Shanghai Restaurant in the downtown on 8th Street. We had that business almost three years. With a family it's no fun either. But in that time it was good. I get them all trained, hire people to train them. And then we sold the business, get all our capital back, so we didn't lose anything. To me, that's a good, successful –
[interruption]
SE: So my brother then all know how to – my nephew then all know how to run a business, so they're on their own, they have their own restaurant business.
AM: Are they in Topeka?
SE: They're in Topeka. So everybody's all fine. Then I could go back to my own little alteration and design business by myself.
AM: How long have you been running –
SE: I've been running the alteration close to twenty years, and designing.
AM: You haven't always been in this location.
SE: No. I've been in three different locations. If I was smart, I should buy the building to begin with. (chuckles) Hindsight always twenty-twenty.
AM: Yes it is. Did your children have any problems growing up with their dual cultural parentage?
SE: I think it depends on the personality. I think it's a little bit hard for my older daughter. In that time, especially in Topeka, they don't have that many Asian kids in that time. So she had a little bit kind of difficulty with – kids is _____ thing. They would pick on her. But I think she survived.
AM: Did you help your brothers immigrate to the United States?
SE: Yes. In that time I think they had to wait for eight years for them able to get the permit to come to the United States.
AM: When was that?
SE: Let me see. They came in '85, '84, somewhere around there.
AM: And that was after waiting eight years to be allowed in?
SE: Yeah. They had to wait for their quota. They had to wait.
AM: A quota set by the United States government.
SE: Yes, uh-huh, in that time. So that's the immigration. They all pass immigration, naturalization pass and everything.
AM: Did they need you or someone to sponsor them?
SE: Yeah. We had to sign the affidavit of support, and it was three years or something, we had be responsible. And affidavit of support, and all those things.
AM: Do you children want to go to China?
SE: My oldest daughter she went with me one year. I gave her as a high school graduation gift.
AM: That's a nice gift.
SE: Yeah, mm-hmm. So maybe I will have the whole family go back there again.
AM: Do you keep in touch with friends back in Hong Kong?
SE: In Hong Kong all my friends they all come to the United States.
AM: Really?
SE: Yeah. A few of the good friends, they all live here. So we contact with each other almost –
AM: Scattered around the United States?
SE: Uh-huh. One of them in Canada, one is in Houston, and some of them are in Dallas. So this is my home. I've been here thirty-eight years.
AM: Can you talk about some of the biggest differences and similarities between Chinese and American culture?
SE: Similarities. For example, well like I say, over here we don't celebrate Christmas like you guys. So that's nothing. That's a good question. I never thought about that.
AM: The way people interact with each other and –
SE: I think if you're friends, you're entertaining each other. That's how we do too. Then you caring for your friends, your neighbors, that's the same as everywhere. And what else? We all work. (laughs)
AM: Are there any cultural traditions that you had in Hong Kong and China that you still practice here?
SE: Chinese New Year, all the holidays.
AM: Besides Chinese New Year, what are other holidays?
SE: August Moon Day.
AM: Well, of course, for you. (chuckles)
SE: Yeah, August Moon, that was my lucky day. And then, as I say – what else we have? That's about it. Chinese New Year and August Moon Day.
AM: What is August Moon Day?
SE: Well, it's supposed to be one of those fairy tales. They say when the moon in the lunar calendar, August 15th, the moon supposed to be very round and bright, and that's a symbol of the good luck. And in the fairy tale, they say it's supposed – they're fairies, and the one fall in love with the one guy. And then the only time they can meet each other is on that day. That's the fairy tale. Like I say, until Armstrong, they go to the moon, and they find out there is no such a thing over there. Because every year, oh, the moon is so bright, looks like they have fairy mist over there. And then they say they have a bunny rabbit inside. There's no such thing. I was very disappointed. (laughs)
AM: So is that the same big full moon as our Harvest Moon?
SE: Yes. Very bright and –
AM: Very orange.
SE: Orange, yeah.
AM: I know your allergies are really bothering you, so we should probably finish this up. I have just another question.
SE: Okay.
AM: What advice do you have for Chinese, or any other immigrants, coming to the U.S.?
SE: What do you mean?
AM: Any recommendations? Do you have any comments about –
SE: Like I say, the only thing, if they come over here I think they should know the American – the culture better, so they don't have a culture shock. I think nowadays people in China they know very rounded, in lots of areas they know it very well. But some of them they came over, they still lost. Basically, they just need to know more, get themselves prepared better, mentally. You won't get culture shock so bad, you know?
AM: Can you prepare for that?
SE: No. I don't think so. Because it's so different. Some people react different ways.
AM: Is there anything else you would like to talk about or comment on?
SE: Well, only thing, like I say, for a long-time immigrant over here, America still is the best place to live, as long you are willing to work hard and then you can get what you want. I've proved that to myself, because I have a lot of hard work into it. In lots of countries, even you work hard, you cannot get what you want. And over here, when you work hard you can get a brand new car.
AM: Yes, you can.
SE: You know what I'm saying? Or you work two or three jobs. (both laugh)
AM: Well, on that happy note –
END OF INTERVIEW